who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
