We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
