My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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