should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
