No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
