I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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