dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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