first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
