The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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