Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
