I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize