your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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