Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
