if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
