dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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