seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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