I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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