I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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