i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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