What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
