doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
even my farts smell like vagina
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
