i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
