so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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