Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
