i can't believe i had my finger in that
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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