An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
