I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
