I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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