Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
