it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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