why didn't you poke me back
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
