The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
