It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
