dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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