I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
