Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
