Ambien. No doubt about it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
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