if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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