How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think im going to throw up on grandma
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
