So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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