Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we made out on top of his cat.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
