Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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