well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
