your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
