I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
