people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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