sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
