You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize