You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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