I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
