just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
