Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Randomize
