i love accidental penises.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize