you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
