he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
