we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
