Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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