i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
