Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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