Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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