is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
