Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
