just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
